Be in Heaven, Die First

The other day, a colleague was regaling a few of us about his trip to and from Abuja.
That was his first time in an Aircraft.
His return trip back to Lagos was the highlight of his journey.

He said they could hear the pilot speaking or communicating with someone which shouldn’t be so. He said the pilot told the person “you didn’t tell me it was raining ” in a worried tone. Then almost immediately the lights went off and they were in pitch darkness inside the airplane, he said they could feel the plane kind of dunking. Nobody communicated to them on what was going on and he panicked.

In his words he said:
“I started to fire prayers ”
Jesu, Jesu, Jesu ooooooooo! Oluwa o
Baba mimo…etc.

Curiously i asked him, why all the ado over nothing? Why screaming Jesu. He said he was afraid.
What were you afraid of exactly? I asked
He looked at me weird and replied “what sort of question is that, I don’t want to die nah”

Me: Death? Why are you afraid to die?
Have you forgotten the streets of heaven are paved with Gold? Angels singing Hosanna all day?
Angels singing Hallelujah all day? No more nights?
Mansions to yourself?
Crowns of Gold? No more Devil. No more sorrow. Heaven is full of joy remember?

Shocked, he stared at me speechless, lost for words.

“E ma wo arabirin yii sha”
“Look at this 👩 woman o.” So you want me to die?
“My time has not come o” I will surely live longgggggggg.

I replied: “You have lived longer than Jesus”
“Jesus lived just about 33 years and you have lived past that age sef”
You have kids. A wife.
A house. Jesus never had any of those.

He replied: “Am I Jesus ni?” Clapping his hands together dramatically…
“Egbami ke, streets of gold ke”
“Ife take your time o”

Me: “But..”

Him: “But kinnni? Stop eeeet” Walks off angrily slamming the door behind.

Me: What did I do wrong?
Sebi we all want to go to Heaven abi? Haha!
Nobody wan die, but we wan go heaven.

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